Prior to preparing for a guest lecture I was giving at Sydney Uni this week, I was skimming through a few books, including Presenting to Win and In the Line of Fire (both by Jerry Weissman), The Trusted Advisor (David Maister, et. al.), Crucial Conversations (Patterson, Grenny, et. al.) and Jo Owen’s mostly excellent, no-nonsense The Leadership Skills Handbook: 50 key skills from 1,000 leaders (Kogan Page, 2009).
On becoming a leader people want to follow, Owen writes, “there is no known way of training for charisma.” He’s wrong, and his advice here conflicts with his own advice elsewhere in the book. (Maybe it’s not what he meant.)
What is charisma? Is it an x-factor? Is it magnetism? If we go with WordWeb’s definition, charisma is “personal attractiveness or interestingness that enables you to influence others.”
Can we increase this quality in ourselves and train it in others? Yes.
Aristotle, Cicero and modern experts agree: no presenter should stray too far from his or her centre. We can’t be someone else. Trying is futile or even damaging. So charisma transplants (wholesale personality extraction and change) are out.
But what about little tweaks and adjustments, nips and tucks, minor injections? We do them all the time. We wash and use deodorant. We arrive at the office or presentation and put on a smile. We meet a prospective client and do the same. We dress up a level for important meetings. We prepare and focus and polish our messages. We improve our listening and speaking skills. These are all basic charisma modification exercises: exercises in increasing our attractiveness so we can influence others.
Effective communication training offers techniques, tools and tips to direct and fast track improvement. These are not transplants, we don’t change who you are or try and roll back the ageing clock. They are nips and tucks; minor injections of likability, attractiveness, interestingness, relevance, cogency, etc. In this way a trainer helps you create and manage the persona you want and need to embody.
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